Kieran caught me out again. He is constantly puntastic- punstoppable- and you could usually tell if a pun was coming due to the manic gleam in his eyes and the face of suppressed glee. Kind of like this:
I’m always on the lookout for the face of mischievous punniness, and this time was no exception. He was sitting in my room, watching tv while I brushed my teeth. Then, all of a sudden he whips round to stare at me, and demands that I tell him a joke:
There it was again. The frenzied gleam in the eyes, the feverish grin, the suppressed excitement; it all meant one thing- a pun was on the horizon. But where could it come from? My eyes searched the room carefully. There was no cheese grater nearby that he could aggressively inform me was “grate”, there was no salt that he could hurl in my face, gleefully shouting that I’d been a-salt-ed; there didn’t seem to be any pun openings anywhere. I was determined not to be caught out. The pun monster was watching me, eyes alight with anticipation. I racked my brain carefully while the pun monster sat on the bed, patiently awaiting his time to shine. Nothing came to mind but the worst joke:
“Umm…a guy went to the doctors, and said his arm had been broken in 20 places…” I paused. The eyes were gleaming from the bed. “The doctor said…” The pun was brewing, I could feel it, but I didn’t know where it was coming from. “…stop going to those places…?”. The eyes flashed with excitement. I’d fallen into the trap, this was the opportunity he’d been waiting for- the pun monster pounced. His arm whipped out from under the duvet, a tv remote was thrust in my face; he brandished it happily, roaring “that’s not even remotely funny!”.