You know when you’re minding your own business, having a great day and then WHAM out of the blue you remember something incredibly embarrassing that you did years ago?
My family have moved houses a lot. The last one I lived in had a gravel drive all the way up to the front door, so you could hear people coming to the house a mile off. The top half of the front door was glass, the bottom half was…just door, I guess, so you could only see who was coming out the top half. One of my friends lived quite close to that house and came round all the time, and would text me to let me know she was on her way, so when I heard the crunching on the gravel I’d know who it was, and I’d always forget until after she’d left that she’s also really easy to scare and I could have hidden and jumped out.
(It might sound like I was quite young when we lived at that house, if I was thinking about hiding and scaring my friends- I wasn’t, I was 17)
Anyways, one time when she texted to say she was on her way, I actually remembered this plan and so, when after about 15 minutes I heard someone crunching up the gravel, I was prepared. I flung myself into a crouch behind the door and waited until the crunch, crunch, crunch got right up outside, at which point I sprang up in front of my friend, screeching WELCOME! as loud as I could, inches from her face.
It wasn’t my friend.
It was the postman.
At the sight of a frenzied grin and wide unblinking eyes inches from his face he let out a SCREEEEEECCHHH, hurled the letters in my face and took off sprinting down the path.
I don’t think anyone was more relieved to see us move away.