Sometimes I forget how bat-shit-crazy my family are (and not in a good way) until I’m trying to explain it to someone else. Sometimes they’re more ridiculous than mean. Take the other day for example, when my 22yr old sister was being a nightmare, not in her usually mean way but more sort of childish (as in, pretending she couldn’t hear me, singing really loudly when I was talking, that kind of thing) and then decided she wanted me to give her a lift to the train station. I wasn’t really in the mood to do anything to help her until I remembered that in giving her a lift to the station to visit her boyfriend, she’d be out of the way for a while.
So we were pottering along in my car, she pretending not to notice I was there, and me contentedly daydreaming about my soon-to-be-empty house. When we’re almost there she suddenly acknowledges my presence and mentions a birthday present we had planned to get together for our mum. I happened to mumble that I had thought we were getting her something else and BAM, she flipped the switch into crazytown. All of a sudden she was screaming at me, obviously quite upset about this joint birthday present misunderstanding. The train station was in sight across the road and since her screaming and arm flailing in my face was quite distracting when I was trying to drive, I suggested pulling up and walking, but no, out came the phone, she dialled The Crazy Mum, and informed her that I was ‘refusing to drive her to the train station’. I tried to shh her- you should never bait the beast that is The Crazy Mum, it’s kind of like:
and said I’d drive the 2 minutes further if she’d stop screaming. She then decides, out of the blue, to tell mum I slapped her.
Just to clarify, I did not slap her. Firstly, I was driving, and secondly, secondly, why?!
Apparently that had awakened The Crazy Mum- by the time I’d dropped the sister off at the station, still wailing away, I’d had a text from The Crazy Mum- I was ‘not welcome to return home that day’.
Ah well. Regardless of the harpies I’m still pretty happy so here, have a happy song: Ride A White Swan, T.Rex