It’s Kieran’s pre-birthday celebrations today, and I’m making him a rocky-road-cake, so here’s a half-tutorial, half-I-can’t-believe-how-much-chocolate-is-in-this-thing-blog. 15 members of his family are coming along, so I’ve kind of double/triple/quadrupled the ingredient quantities, BEHOLD:

Bear in mind this is for 15 people, so this is a LOT of ingredients! Normally 5 chocolate bars, half a bag of marshmallows, and half a bag of digestives are enough for 4 people (or enough for me and Kieran).

So in this mother of all rocky roads, we have:

15 chocolate bars

2 bags of marshmallows

2 packs of digestive biscuits

 Now, this ain’t no fancy-schmancy rocky road, so all I put in are marshmallows and biscuits; you can add in any ingredients e.g. raisins/rice crispies/honeycomb etc, but since I love just plain good old fashioned rocky road, and am not a huge fan of the tiny disappointments that are raisins, I just use these.

First I fill a saucepan with a little water, just enough so that it can heat up the bowl without touching it:

When the water boils, put the heatproof mixing bowl on:

Be sure to leave room for a little cat who will come in to investigate the smells and hissing water:

“What doing, hooman?”

Next, break the chocolate up and melt it in the bowl:

Until it looks like this:


If you want to stretch the mixture and make it a bit thicker you can add in some milk:

but make sure not to add too much or it’ll get all weird and clumpy. When it looks like this:

Crumble in the biscuits:

Mix them in:

Then do the same with the marshmallows:


When it’s all mixed in, squish it into whatever’s big enough to hold it. It may look a little like crumbled dog poop but it’ll taste A-MA-ZIIINNNGGGGGGGGG
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