I was reading Jane Austen’s Sense & Sensibility the other day and I just love how this woman can describe stuff. She’s talking about Robert Ferrars, who we don’t know is Robert Ferrars yet, and just have to take her word that he’s a bit of an idiot. Anyway, he’s holding everybody up whist he picks out ‘a toothpick-case for himself’ (let that give you an idea of this guy), taking his sweet time about it, and pissing off everyone in the queue behind him. Anyway, because Austen is awesome, she doesn’t just say that he tells the toothpick-case-seller when he’ll come back to collect it; she says:
‘the gentleman…named the last day on which his existence could be continued without the possession of the toothpick-case”
Next time I have to buy or order something really menial, I’m gonna use that, I’m gonna tell them: this is the last day on which my existence can continue without these socks. I love that.
Seriously, if you haven’t yet, get you some Austen.